“This hand I’m goig balls out like i got a hole in my shorts”
—Wilfred the life guard playing spades
July 2009
Tonight, I will:
- Make a delicious dinner of corn on the cob and Ree’s Potato Bundles
- Take a long bath—the kind that is so long that my skin gets pruney
- Finish re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
- Watch A&E true crime shows and eat butter-drenched popcorn until I pass out
Adendum-cry while re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. NOW i believe this is what jackie will be doing.
I feel left out :-(
I feel better :-) @jaclynday
And if you should come back into my office 10 minutes later with your kid, dont let her do it again!!!!!!
If you bring a kid in my Office, Do not let them play with my window decorations
I had settled on Yellow, but now with cash in hand im having second thoughts.
I do not care how hot it is, put pants or a skirt on your child if you take it out side. Particularlly if she is old enough to walk. Period.
Kings Dominion
Kings Dominion (a theme park in VA) has a radio commercial with a jingle whose chorus is “every body get wet.” Im not sure I am ok with this
Today is National Cheesecake Day!
If you need to reach me at about 9 tonight, i will be at the Cheesecake Factory.
Regalia
Regalia. When i graduated from college, i was pretty sure i would never put my cap and gown on again. Boy was I wrong. Since im staff, i get to march with the faculty and staff at graduation tonight. Sure I only have a Bachelors gown, and sure i am younger than probably a third of the graduates, and sure caps and gowns make you look silly; But at least im getting my moneys worth for all i paid for the damn things!
“A few days later, President Obama said the police acted stupidly. Big mistake! A president should never get involved in a local, city-specific issue. President Bush never did, no matter how flooded a city got.”
—Stephen Colbert (via savingpaper) (via apsies) (via think4yourself)
“I Wish i had a super power which allowed me to kill mosquitoes”
—IMLE
Just a few minutes more and then i can go to daves party!!!!!!
I've probably started typing Princess Bride quotes 15 times already to post to tumblr, but I can't choose because THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD ONES!
(via sds)
As you wish.
INCONCEIVABLE
Jackie and I want to Make shirts for the 7th and 8th Harry Potter Movie Primiers
- Jaclyn: we have to come up with one for brandon
- b/c i am forcing him to attend
- wearing a shirt
- Ellie: hmmm how about, my wands made of steel, fuck the wooden ones
- Jaclyn: HAHA
- my wand's bigger than your's
- Ellie: you wont believe what my wand does to my wife when the lights go out
- Jaclyn: HAHAHA
- i love it
- save that one
- my wife likes touching my wand
- Ellie: I want a wand job
- Jaclyn: HAHAHAHA
- Ellie: all of the options are about his wand
JEALOUSY
I had to run out to get lunch today for me and a co-worker. I had exactly 44 min to get food and get back before my next appointment. While getting condiments, i apologized to a lady for taking so long and tried to hurry out of her way. She patted my on the arm and said “hunny, im in no hurry. I am a retired person, where on earth do i have to go in a hurry.” I looked at her dead in the face and replied “I have never been so jealous of anyone in my whole life.” She Laughed. Responded “one day hun, one day”
Bacardi Patronem!
That’s what I hear when that Harry Potter kid says whatever he actually says to cast spells or something.
I don’t have a drinking problem. It’s not a problem at all.
Kids in the Bathroom
This may have to do with my feelings for children in general, but i am of the opinion that if your child is over 5 years old, a parent of the opposite sex should not take them in to the bathroom with them. Particularlly when you are in place where it is unlikely they are going to to be kidnapped! I work at a small christian college, no fear leaving your kid in the hallway while you pee. And if they need to pee, after 5 they are old enough to walk in to a bathroom alone and take care of themselves. This was prompted when i walked in to the womens bathroom and there was a 7 year old standing in the stall with the door wide open peeing. Call me crazy, but pretty sure he would have been ok to either wait out side or got to the Mens Room!
ESPN Breaking News: Brett Favre to remain retired and not play for Vikings this year
I want to believe it sooo much, but i just cant!
FML Moments in Greek Mythology
Icarus
Today my father made wings out of feathers and wax so that we could escape the king’s castle. But I flew too close to the sun and the wings melted. I then fell into the ocean below. I can’t swim. FMLOdysseus
Today I came up with a plan that helped my country win a 10-year war. But, because I forgot to pray to Poseidon, I won’t get to go home for another 10 years. FMLOedipus
I’ve been really busy. I solved the riddle of the Sphinx, gained entrance to the city of Thebes, killed the king and took his place, and then married his wife and had several kids. As it turns out, the guy that I killed to become king was my dad. And the chick that I married and had kids with was my mother. FML
“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.”
—
Clarence Darrow (via livejamie)
I am determined to save the second half of my life!
Subway does not make me happy.
Why does my tumblarity go down when people like my post?
Real Life
You know what sucks? When your right out of college and up to debt cause you had to put your self through undergrad and had no help from mommy and daddy and your credit cards are maxed out on simple living expenses, and you cant take vacation from your job cause as a new employee you dont accumulate that much PTO and you can just pick up and take unpaid time off cause you have to pay for rent and bills and all with out the help of parents or grandparents or a significant other. Yeah thats what sucks. Its also called real life. Welcome to it.
David graduates this week. Its so weird how this one happened in reverse.
First metro ride after crash. I’m a bit nervous
Monday or Mundane Day?
I miss my maid…or roommate…or sister. Whatever she wants to be called come home
I <3 iGoogle
